Praise that builds persistence

Parents praise children because they want them to feel capable. But the kind of praise matters. A well-known line of research suggests that praising children for being clever can make them more fragile when work becomes difficult, while praising effort and strategy encourages persistence. This article explains the findings, their limits and how to apply them at home.

What the research found

In a series of experiments, Mueller and Dweck gave children a set of problems and then praised them either for their intelligence ("You must be smart at this") or for their effort ("You must have worked hard"). After a harder set on which everyone struggled, children praised for intelligence enjoyed the task less, persisted less and performed worse on a later set. Children praised for effort were more likely to choose challenging tasks and to attribute difficulty to insufficient effort rather than lack of ability.

A balanced reading of the evidence

Later studies of 'growth mindset' interventions have found smaller effects than early reports suggested, and effects vary between students. Praise is not magic. But the core practical point has held up well: feedback that tells a child what they did that worked, and what to try next, is more useful than a label. Effort alone is not the goal either; praising effort on a strategy that is not working can mislead.

Phrases that help

• "You kept going on that verse until it was right."
• "Breaking the question into steps really worked."
• "That was hard, and you did not give up. What will you try next time?"
• "Your revision every day is why this sūrah is so firm."

Responding to mistakes

How parents react to mistakes teaches as much as how they praise success. A calm response that treats the mistake as information, "Let's see where it went wrong", makes children more willing to attempt difficult work. Anger or mockery teaches children to hide mistakes or avoid challenge. Islamic teaching on gentleness with children fits this well: firmness about standards, gentleness in how they are taught.

Praise in the Qur'an class

In memorisation, where progress can feel slow, specific praise matters a great deal. A teacher or parent who notices that a child's makhārij have improved, that a difficult verse is now fluent, or that revision has become consistent, helps the child see progress they might otherwise miss. General praise such as "You are so clever" gives no information about what to keep doing.

Feedback research by Hattie and Timperley distinguishes feedback about the task, the process and self-regulation from praise of the person. The first three help learning; the last does little on its own. The practical rule is easy to remember: describe what the child did and what it achieved.

Praise the person sparingly, the work often

Children still need to know that they are loved regardless of results. Warm affection should be unconditional; praise for work should be specific and honest. Over time, children who hear what effective work looks like learn to recognise it themselves, which is the real aim: a learner who can evaluate their own progress and keep going.